I’m trying to learn for my Writing class and I’m stuck. Can you help?
Fix the essay according to the instruction.
“Overall, this is a great draft。 You have a wonderfully measured tone, and a great command of the research material. The only major gap in the essay is a summary of the critical debate surrounding your issue. You do so well to highlight the pressing nature of this crisis, but you don’t quite bring the same energy and depth to the discussion of why costs have risen. You point to inflation and enrollment, yes, but I think you need to call on some specific experts to argue these points for you. Do experts disagree on the causes for this spike in education costs? Do some point to the government, while others argue that it’s university administration to blame? The middle paragraph on page 5 is the place to get into this debate a little bit more. You have the variety of causes written out there, but we don’t get the sense that there’s any disagreement among scholars about the causes themselves. Remedying this is a matter of adjusting one, maybe two paragraphs in an otherwise exemplary draft. Well done!”
